WHAT TO DO IF A FRIEND IS ASSAULTED

1. Believe the survivor.

    It is important that the survivor has someone who believes that she/he was assaulted.

2. Be supportive.

     It is important that the survivor feel support from friends and family. Be careful not to invade her/his space. The survivor maybe quite frightened and not want to be in close physical contact with anyone, even someone who is trusted.

3. Allow the survivor to make her/his own decisions.

     During a sexual assault, a person is stripped of all control and it is important for the survivor to regain that control. One important way for the survivor to reestablish control is to make decisions autonomously. You may make suggestions such as calling the police, the Victim/Witness hot-line, or telling an RA, but allow the survivor to make her/his own choices. 

4. Ask the survivor what she/he needs.

     Learn from the survivor what you can do to help; don’t make assumptions. Again, this is part of the survivor taking back control.

5. Assure the survivor that she/he is NOT to blame.

     Many survivors blame themselves for the assault and it is important for you to stress that it was. NOT the survivor’s fault. Never question the survivor’s role in an assault.

6. Provide on-going support.

     Sexual assault has many lasting effects. It is important for you to realize that each survivor recovers at her/his own pace. Do not question the timing of the recovery. Remain supportive and provide encouragement.